I know full well that I'll feel fine as soon as I get to work, and that forcing myself out of bed is the worst part. I know that negative thoughts will only make the situation much worse, when it's not even that bad in the first place. And I know that I am well aware of the simple steps I need to take to get out of my slump and have a better day... so why is it so hard?
Often, deep down I have all the skills and know-how, but I just don't seem to want to follow my own advice. And I'm not talking about major things here, just everyday stuff, like knowing that I should get up early and be productive, write in my reflective journal each night, and not allow negative thoughts to affect me. I recently did a post on my mindset towards work and how I want to shake off the destructive feelings of anxiety and negativity that make a mountain out of a molehill... it's only eight hours in front of a computer with the option of endless cups of tea - it could be a lot worse! I even wrote out steps that I can take to make me feel brighter, steps that I know work for me, so why did I find it so bloody difficult to get my bum to work yesterday?
Despite feeling pretty confident and relaxed about work over the past few weeks, I didn't get out of bed until I really had to, and I had a lump in my throat whilst frantically trying to find my dry shampoo. I seriously didn't want to go, and felt like that anxious child who didn't want to leave her mom at the school gates all over again. It's frustrating, because as I keep saying, I know what to do to perk myself up, but I just didn't feel like I could follow my own advice.
Basically, sometimes practicing what you preach is hard. Nobody is perfect and we all have bad days, be it because we're tired, hormonal, or just a bit down. Little blips like this are so common and I know that I shouldn't let it get to me - they don't make me a failure. Like I said, I have the know-how somewhere in my mind, and although some days that know-how doesn't want to surface, I'm sure that it will emerge out of its brief hibernation soon.