Monday, 30 November 2015

Visiting Home as a Student

There it is! After three hours of sitting on a budget coach that smells faintly of wee, the front door to your family home is finally in sight. You drag your suitcase up the driveway, narrowly avoiding giving your dad's Volvo a nasty scratch, and blow kisses at your beloved cat who is perched on the front room windowsill, watching you intently. Keys are located, the magic key is slotted into the keyhole, and finally, the sweet smell of home sweet home is upon you. 

First things first, you charge into the front room and retrieve your feline. She waits patiently for you to finish nuzzling your nose into her silky fur and gushing about how much you adore her. Cat loving over (for now), you sprint into the haven that is... the family kitchen. The family kitchen is governed by the mom, and boasts a full fridge, bulging cupboards and an abundance of Jamie Oliver cookbooks. The family kitchen is a million miles way from the pasta sauce splattered, mouldy dish hoarding, and constantly smelling of bin hovel of a kitchen that you're used to at uni. 

It feels as if life slips into slow motion as you reach for the fridge door... mouth hanging open, a tiny droplet of drool waiting to trickle down your chin as soon as the treasures inside are revealed. And ping! The fridge light comes on and behold... a fresh block of cheese! Good quality yogurt! A punnet of cherry tomatoes... wait for it... on the vine! Such luxuriousness! You make blind grabs at anything and everything, stuffing your deprived mouth of items that are not in the basics range for the first time in weeks.

After this mouth stuffing ceremony, you head upstairs taking two steps at a time, to once again be reunited with one of the true loves of your life, a truly special, gorgeous, beautiful certain something... your own bed. You dive headfirst into the sea of scatter cushions and sink into the marshmallow that is your memory foam mattress. The clanking springs and lumps of your mattress at uni is far, far away from your thoughts as you blissfully marvel at the comfort of you Ikea baby. 

A steaming hot cup of tea would be perfect right now, you think - as nothing is quite like tea made in your own home. Just as you begin to contemplate moving from your duvet igloo, the front door clicks open, and you recognise just whose feet are trotting up the hallway in a flash... "You home love? Fancy a brew?" These beautiful words, spoken in the cosy voice of your mom float upstairs... and you've never appreciate your own home more. 


Monday, 23 November 2015

Spilling words about a slump...

I have a real desire to get the most out of life, be productive, get on top on my university work and all those other things that we seem to tweet about longing to be doing... But sometimes, it's just bloody hard. Life is just bloody hard, being an adult and being independent, is just bloody hard. And on top of that, life can throw unexpected and inconvenient things at us all from time to time (as it has done to me over the past couple of weeks), and then being satisfied with your life and days becomes even bloody harder

It's a cliche, but nobody is perfect. No matter how many YouTube videos someone makes about they planner set up, plant based diet, or jam packed daily routine, no one has a productive and satisfying day every time... and that's one hundred percent fine. But it gets depressing and frustrating when these bad days turn into bad weeks. A slump or a rut develops and all the things on my to do list, all the things I want to achieve and all the things I know I can do to make me feel better, get further and further away, until it feels like they're at the top of the gloomy well that I've found myself in. 

Last week I had three meaty essays due in at uni. Three big deadlines in one week - the first assessed work I'd done in months. Right now I could begin to beat myself up... saying I should have started the work earlier and managed my time better, but to be fair to myself, I wasn't quite as rushed as I was when it came to essays last year, and I did a heck of a lot more secondary reading this time. But these tight deadlines resulted in me neglecting my other uni reading for a few weeks, which made me feel all out of sync and annoyed at myself. I'd been doing so well at keeping up and it just all went to pot! I just couldn't seem to juggle it all. 

And to top it off, I've been pretty under the weather recently with a horrible illness that knocked me for six... although looking on the bright side, it does partly explain why I've feeling so run down and lethargic lately. 

Basically, these past few weeks have been hard! But I need to refrain from beating myself up and be a bit kind and forgiving to myself instead. Wallowing in what I should have done won't help me to get the spring back into my step at all. Sometimes, life gets on top of us and lots of things come at once. Illness, be it mental or physical, doesn't usually wait for a convenient time to crop up on you... the bloody bastard. I know that to shake off this unproductive, lackluster and out of sync phase, I need to look forward, take each day at a time, and not bother to strive for perfection, because it just doesn't exist. 

I'm not sure of the point of this post, or if it even has a beginning, middle or end, but I just wanted to have a quick writing session and lay it all out on paper... and in this case, lay it all out on the internet too... but maybe it'll relate to someone out there who might be struggling a bit... as we all do every now and then.